Category: Recovery
9.20.2012
Life is an opportunity given to satisfy the hunger and thirst of the soul.
~ Pir-O-Murshid Hazrat Inayat KhanThe key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance – and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.
~ Oprah WinfreyThe reality of life is that your perceptions – right or wrong – influence everything else you do. When you get a proper perspective of your perceptions, you may be surprised how many other things fall into place.
~ Roger BirkmanThe key to life is love, especially if God is Love, because then all things together with God and it’s all good.
~WSDMore will be revealed…
Way Spiritual Dave
A daily meditation posted by my husband, Way Spiritual Dave that I thought I might share for those who can relate, like me… the last quote by WSD, is his…
Dancing cures the blues!
The Third Step Prayer
God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!
I don’t want to take anything for granted… including regretting the time I have left on this earth.
I have accomplished some pretty amazing feats in my recovery including finding the real me that was locked up in a floating casket on the River of Denial.
I was a Zombie, moving but not living. Trapped in a place where I couldn’t look at who I was, who I had become and where I was going.
Thank God for God, and thank God I finally, in the depths of despair cried out to a God I did not understand, believe in, and was pretty pissed off at, for my life.
My life changed, about 10 minutes after uttering, what I now know was my cry of desperation: “God help me I cannot live like this anymore!” That’s when the phone rang and the only person in the world that I knew in recovery called and said… “P. are you o.k.? Just a minute ago I had a feeling that something was wrong with you” My first miracle…
There have been so many over the years, but to make a long story short, I have been given a second chance at life. I have been given the gift of a loving God, loving husband, children, two amazing grandchildren, siblings that recently re-united after almost 45 years (another story), and a fellowship and sisterhood that are beyond my wildest dreams.
I get to help women who are newer in recovery by teaching them how to work the 12 steps, and how to incorporate them into their lives. I get to love them until they learn to love themselves, like I was taught almost 30 years ago.
Back in 1983 I woke up in Cardiff by the Sea, Leucadia, Carlsbad, Encinitas, Oceanside and Del Mar, CA. All beach towns along the North County coastal line between San Diego and Los Angeles.
The Pacific Ocean was my first Higher Power… for years, that evolved to the Fellowship that helped love me back to life, and then easily transitioned to this loving God that lives within me, dissolving all of my fears and who taught me to love and let go of my ego.
This love of life included taking photographs to help me remember the sunrises and sunsets over that magnificent Pacific Ocean… and when we moved to the desert back in 1994 the mountains and the Palm trees caught my eye. Clouds are my rock stars! They take the sun, shadows and light and dance with them high above me.
So today for my exercise perhaps I will check out the mountains nearby. The best time is sunrise and sunset, because the shadows they cast bring out the life in them.
It depends on the light, if that doesn’t work, I will surprise myself and just let it flow… and whatever it is, I am stepping out of my comfort zone again today. Baby steps…
Many thanks to http://chosenvoice.wordpress.com/ for nominating me for “The one lovely blog award”.
Being a newbie to blogging, I feel honored to have been mentioned and have so much to learn. I can follow directions/suggestions… so, I will copy-paste the rules:
- Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
– Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
– Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
– Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.
Seven unknown facts about me:
1. I found my God in 1983… on the shores of the Pacific Ocean.
2. My life changed for the better because of the 12 Steps.
3. I was the highest ranking female bodyguard to become certified in the early 1980′s at the Academy, but I chose not to pursue the career because I couldn’t kill anyone to save my client.
4. I am a Filipino/American who is 1/4 Polish 
.
5. In high school I was nominated “Miss Polly Posture” by the school faculty.
6. It was my husband who first coined my life quote of being “Happy, Healthy and In Love.
7. I have only been blogging on WordPress for 4 and 1/2 weeks.
Nominations for a few of the people I admire… and this was tough, but just a start:
1. http://wanderingpebbles.com/
2. http://gravatar.com/7ca53103f016680375e235cf30984734
3. http://gravatar.com/7237a2986cd0283717e6f6a3209dbc15
4. http://gravatar.com/a6ef7eb3d6189d54c1280122137c142b
5. http://gravatar.com/e19309017ebdcf5d10e11d07431726a1
6. http://gravatar.com/c66dfd1b1a87349a922f708256a8a788
7.http://jennamulephotography.com/
8.http://passport.laurenoliviaco.com/
11. http://cancerkillingrecipe.wordpress.com/
13. http://strausslouw.wordpress.com/
14 http://writersearningmoneyonline.com/
Okay, this week has been one I won’t forget… I had major dental surgery last Thursday and have been in pain most of the week. So, being home bound and resting I spent more time than usual here on my blog. This was the comfort i received with the eye candy of your posts to take my mind off the discomfort I had been experiencing.
While I was recuperating, and I still am, but much less pain at this point, I decided life is too short and what is my big fear with photography? Learning how to use my equipment properly and not practicing enough to learn! There, I said it out loud.
With my iPhone I can capture spontaneous pictures without having to think, to plan, to study… just point and shoot, edit and post! Easy, Peasy!
Today I faced my fears and stepped outside of my four walls into the front yard and just started snapping… same trees, same neighborhood, same environment, different camera!
I feel good to have slipped into my big girl panties and they actually feel pretty good.
I just posted most of the pictures I took outside today, just to prove to myself that it is pretty hard to mess up… even blurry pictures sometimes tell a story.
I decided to take the plunge, one day at a time so I can post to the Weekly Challenge this week. (Gulp!)
Pray for me…
Sounds like such a small deal, but believe me… it will be one giant step for woman kind. (This kind woman)
Phew! Feels better saying it out loud… in the open, not a secret any more…
Thanks for listening.
For years, actually decades I have learned to trust that still small voice within. I know it is my God whispering in my ear. I don’t need God to shout at me very often, whispering is enough. But that was not the way it was for the first almost four decades of my life. My addictions to just about everything that would allow my to “numb” my feelings had a hold of my spirit and would not let go! My God was suffering from a case of laryngitis from screaming at me… in vain! The road from there to here has been a long and winding road… lots of hills and valleys that I had trudged, with love and support from my life coaches. I became willing to learn, take direction, work HARD and swallow my pride and ego. Reflection comes easy to those of us who don’t need to deny our pasts, for it is the grace that we get to pass on… So reflect I will… And for now the little voice is purrrrrring…. contented, happy, joyous and free! as I “remember to breathe…” I am breathing in and out the life of God and remembering God Is My Only Source.
steed cloud
“Choices are made in brief seconds and paid for in the time that remains.“
O.k., o.k., I chose blog, but that doesn’t make me a bad person… it just readjusts my schedule a wee bit!
I am responsible for my choices today, can’t blame you, them, my family, my pet, it is all mine.
Once I realized that my life became much simpler.
Chuck C. used to say:
“Uncover, discover and discard”
I had to do some serious writing to uncover the patterns that kept me trapped in a miserable life,
I got to discover who I was underneath the tangled web of deceit I had woven with my lies and denial…
And when these defects of character rose to the surface, with the help of my sponsor and mentor, I got to discard them, one at a time, over the years like smelly socks that I hid in the back of my closet.
Every once and a while I dig one back out of the trash… like procrastination… and embrace it until the stench makes me wretch and I throw it away again.
My choices are my choices today, and I accept the consequences, and move on.
It feels good not to be stuck in the “sea of denial”. I was drowning in that sea for over 37 years. Glub! Glub!
I think I can pay my bills now… my head just got a bit clearer.
I am smilin on the inside… and it feels good!!!!
I
If it looks like I am the only person on the dance floor it is an illusion, there is one young girl who has the same bug I do. We danced and twirled to the dj a few weeks ago as other adults stood in the shadows, at the door and at their tables wondering who this grown senior citizen was gettin down like there was no tomorrow.
I don’t give a hoot…
I finally realize that I am able to dance as if no one is watching.
If you don’t know how many steps it took to get in my shoes, feeling unafraid… it took decades!
If you do know how many steps it took, you are either a really healthy person or you are in a 12 step program like me and have done lots of work on yourself.
Either way… we are truly blessed to be free.
Gotta go, hear my favorite song!!!!
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Maya Angelou (1928 – )
I like me
I like who I have become
I am grateful I was awoken into the reality I created…
I did have to change how I related to me and you
I can now accept today I have choices…
I am a whole new person,
I try to treat you with dignity and respect
because I love myself today…
And for that I am grateful
to accept the things I cannot change…
the courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will not mine be done!
Grant me the serenity
And here I go…
I am living my life according to the grand scheme designed by a magnificent being that I choose to call God.
I tried doing it my way and it didn’t work… I like His way much better!
Anyone else feel the same way?
That God knows His business????
I would love to hear…
