patriciaddrury

Yesterday was not like any other day… I stepped out of my “hula hoop”, or my comfort zone as you will.  Getting out my Canon Eos and taking a dozen or so photos in my front yard, of my neighborhood.  Doesn’t sound like a big deal but for me it was.

Today I am going to attempt to follow through with my goal, not a resolution, ( def.: the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler one… ) but a goal, ( def.: the end toward which effort is directed).  I like the idea of directing my effort… sounds more natural to me.

I am even going to get in my car and drive out of my big hula hoop, my neighborhood and travel to someone else’s!  I am not suffering from agoraphobia (def.: abnormal fear of being helpless in an embarrassing or inescapable situation that is characterized especially by the avoidance of open or public places)… I just have had fear of picking up the dang thang (Canon Eos) that I wanted for so very long, and actually using it!

When I was a kid I wanted a pair of roller skates for my birthday and my dad got me a pair… you could not get me off those skates.  I would skate in a loop in our basement over and over and over with a smile on my face.  What happened between then and now?  I became, and probably was, an addict/alcoholic… all or nothing but mostly all!  I lived an un-authentic life, deceit, self-centeredness, ego, uncontrollable urges that were very destructive for 37 years of my life.

Then almost 30 years ago I found AA, I found a sponsor and women who helped me find God.  I found a fellowship that had no rules and only one requirement… and they loved me back to life using the 12 steps.  I could write about the recovery portion of my story for days, and I will later… stay tuned.

But, what I am getting at, is my need to control (Coda) has another great program that I support and supports me.  If I can’t do a thing perfect, I don’t do it.  Simple, yet not very authentic of me to turn my back on what my God does will might be for me.

You see, I intuitively know photography is good for me, and I am good at it, at the level I am and remain.  My intuition is God whispering in my ear, by the way.

I don’t trust myself to be better at it, to be smart enough to learn about it, to retain all of the vast amount of knowledge that I have found for fun and for free these last four weeks on WordPress and in the community of giving talented people (bloggers) here.

Now I have not excuse to take the next first step, do I?  Yesterday I cracked the door of willingness and took some pics outside, my next first step… go exploring and just SHOOT!

What’s that all about?

Anyone else had any experience in this area?

Any advice?

I am willing, teachable and moving forward… baby steps my friends, baby steps!

Photo seen on Facebook